Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Likes and Dislikes.....

For any potential match who never got to my likes and dislikes due to dating site text restraints, here's the complete, unabridged listing:
I DO LOVE: my kids, kittens, puppies, the American flag, arming Tibet, feeding the hungry, clothing the naked (although I have nothing against a little nakedness amongst friends), same-sex marriages, non same-sex marriages, sitcoms without canned laughter, a good Chardonnay, a well hit golf, tennis or ping pong ball, The SF Giants in first place, summer evenings in Sacramento, a ragtop of any denomination, pausing for everyone to catch up and realizing that they already have, self-deprecating humor, tantalizing kisses, being silly, being serious, being just short of brilliant, having one for the road when I know I’m sleeping over, seeing my lover smile at me regardless of who is looking, elderly guys at the gym checking out the chicks, cool scars (chicks do dig them & they’re great conversation starters, especially for the overly morbid), Stephen King books, Thailand, snuggling in satin sheets on rainy days (hopefully with someone), the name Bob (it’s strong, simple and it’s a palindrome), the Mustang from Bullitt, a vintage Stratocaster plugged into a Fender Blues DeVille, sushi (especially the deadly Blowfish in the hands of a master), working on a car and having it still run when you’re done, people who listen, Kill Bill 1 & 2, any Denzel Washington movie, existentialistic writers (okay, so I put that one in because it sounds cool), being silly in inappropriate moments, Japanese game shows, a good cowboy movie, helping people, an unearned smile, peanuts and beer at a sporting event, profound nonsense, any Marx Brothers movie, the uniforms on Star Trek (any year), county fairs, not paying retail for anything, Steve McQueen.

As for things I DISLIKE: Dr. Phil in Speedos, arbitrary use of a warning device, the chance to make only ONE good first impression (Jeez, the pressure!), white guys dancing to anything but surf music, sand in my shoes, someone wearing so much cologne it induces an involuntary gag reflex, being judge by “They” (who are they anyway?), being buffeted by an artic blast with a wind chill factor of 60 below (especially when you’re trying to putt!), feeling confounded, deflated or aghast, Christmas Carols sung out of season, Bluetooth headsets at the gym, butt implants, the latest Justin Beiber news, the part of the story left untold, fashion fascism, SUV’s the size of some third world countries, strangers who insist on penetrating your comfort zone, fake crab meat, facial tattoos, NASCAR racing or the art of turning left, old sponges, 2 people living in a 10,000 square foot house (you could put an African village in there!), the terrible tattoos on NBA players (I mean you’re a millionaire… get a decent tatt!), Maidenhair ferns (like an old person in a hospice, no matter what you do for them, they die), holidays made up by advertising agencies in order to manipulate consumers with that whole guilt/spend paradigm, fishing or watching paint dry, pit bull owners (see NASCAR above), amusement park rides that thrash and spin violently (bad inner-ear thing),  needlessly steep learning curves, planned obsolescence, The Yugo (just a bad idea all the way around). 

And thank you for reading all of this… if at the end it all seems trivial, please reconsider… it was simply my way of viewing the truth from a room with no windows.

God bless and peace be with you….

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